It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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