Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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