That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
