I want to make a zoo with you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
