SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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