oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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