Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize