Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize