So drunk its hurt
Small penises have feelings too.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
