i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize