Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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