O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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