you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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