No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
