Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
