just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
