HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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