Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
