Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Boobs are out for the taking
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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