I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sex on roller skates
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Boobs are out for the taking
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.