Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at

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(651): I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at http://tfl.nu/8c2c

Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (1355)
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(309): View more from Illinois

dude do u know what u did last night?

(1-309): View more from Illinois

do i wanna know???

(309): View more from Illinois

you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...

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(309): dude do u know what u did last night? (1-309): do i wanna know??? (309): you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room... http://tfl.nu/9b63

Replies (13) Good night (2572) Bad night (599)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

(908): View more from New Jersey

Fuck I'm high.

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(908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc

Replies (56) Good night (1870) Bad night (3539)
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(206): View more from Washington

i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

(425): View more from Washington

for sure. did you let him do it?

(206): View more from Washington

thats not the point.

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(206): i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship. (425): for sure. did you let him do it? (206): thats not the point. http://tfl.nu/qjrv

Replies (80) Good night (2590) Bad night (3810)
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(974): View more from

You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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(974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6

Replies (28) Good night (8046) Bad night (1001)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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(862): I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism http://tfl.nu/6czv

Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (1622)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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(757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp

Replies (4) Good night (3584) Bad night (1986)
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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(816): And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog. http://tfl.nu/zv3p

Replies (10) Good night (3294) Bad night (1853)
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(917): View more from New York City

Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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(917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg

Replies (11) Good night (3955) Bad night (1523)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.

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(303): Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it. http://tfl.nu/2ryl

Replies (27) Good night (3307) Bad night (781)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.

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(404): So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/3jpq

Replies (4) Good night (1869) Bad night (848)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.

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(262): You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM. http://tfl.nu/legz

Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (429)
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(815): View more from Illinois

And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily

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(815): And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily http://tfl.nu/5rme

Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (391)
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(702): View more from Nevada

one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg

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(702): one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg http://tfl.nu/43te

Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (310)
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(951): View more from California

It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.

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(951): It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/jm52

Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (300)

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