I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house