Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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