Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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