Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
