oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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