drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
