The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
