Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
