We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
