i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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