Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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