on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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