fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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