I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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