Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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