You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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