found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
