She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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