sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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