Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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