I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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