i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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