If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
