Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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