We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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