The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
