k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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