A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
