At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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