i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
