worst night to have a conscience
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize