this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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