I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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