tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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