I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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