Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
