physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
