Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Randomize
