Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
