chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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