i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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