I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
